Giving up the grog? Plan to fail to succeed!

If you want to quit drinking alcohol or cut back, chances are you’ve tried before… And failed. So, here’s news that hopefully makes you feel better. A clinical psychologist says it’s not your fault and it’s simply your approach that needs adjusting. In fact, she says “you should probably aim to fail if you really want to make lasting changes”.

Your approach to quitting alcohol matters

The comment comes from Dr Nicole Lee, a clinical psychologist and Adjunct Professor at the National Drug Research Institute. The “you should probably aim to fail” comment was written as part of a post published at the start of this year on why so many people to fail to quit alcohol after a New Year’s resolution.

She writes that in her 35 years of clinical practice, she’s seen many people feel shame after trying to quit and failing. The issue, she believes, is that they have unknowingly set themselves up to fail before they even start by setting overly ambitious and unrealistic goals.

“Adopting an all-or-nothing mindset doesn’t leave room for anything short of perfection, and when you inevitably slip up, it can lead to failing on a bigger scale,” Dr Lee writes in her post.

Psychologists even have a not-so technical name for it. It’s called the “stuff it” effect. In other words, it’s what happens when someone has a beer after a period of staying sober, feels like they’ve blown it, and thinks, “Stuff it, I might as well drink a whole slab.”

The more technical name for the response is abstinence violation syndrome. When we break a personal goal, the brain can interpret it as total failure. That feeling of failure leads to a drop in motivation, making it easier to slip fully back into the habit we were trying to quit.

44 per cent of Australians want to drink less alcohol

There is good news for the 44 per cent of people who drink alcohol who want to drink less or quit altogether. While quitting outright is very difficult and too ambitious for most of us, if we set realistic goals and accept setbacks as lessons, we’ll be on the right track.

For example, you might aim to be a more mindful and moderate drinker, rather than giving up cold turkey. Or you may aim to introduce more alcohol-free days into your week. And if you stumble, examine what made you slip-up. Don’t judge yourself harshly; simply be curious and learn from your mistakes.

Dr Lee writes that it’s also important to examine your motivations.

“I often see people who are laser focused on the end result, but are less motivated to do the work to get there. If sobriety or moderation are the goal, understanding your relationship with alcohol is essential. Working out why you drink, when you drink, and how it makes you feel, are essential building blocks for long term change.”

How much is too much alcohol?

If you’re wanting to know how much alcohol you should – or shouldn’t – be drinking, the National Medical and Research Council has some simple guidelines:

• To reduce the risk of alcohol-related disease or injury, healthy adults should drink no more than 10 standard drinks a week and no more than 4 standard drinks on any one day.
• Children and people under 18 and women who are pregnant or breastfeeding should have no alcohol.

Also note that a standard drink is not necessarily a glass of wine or a beer. It will depend on the volume and alcohol percentage of what you’re drinking. For full strength beer, a standard drink is 285ml. For most wines it is 100ml.

Note:

Yes, an incredible 44 per cent of Australians who drink alcohol want to quit or reduce their intake. The finding comes from a survey released at the start of this year, commissioned by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education. The top reasons people choose to cut back on alcohol include improving their physical health (75%), boosting their mental wellbeing (50%), getting better sleep (22%) and simply not liking how alcohol makes them feel (22%).

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If you’ve tried to give up or reduce your alcohol intake and failed, you’re not alone and you’re not weak willed. It’s your approach that may need tweaking.